


Dear You

by Lire_Casander



Category: Hanson
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-09-05
Packaged: 2017-12-25 17:01:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/955562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lire_Casander/pseuds/Lire_Casander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Wherever I go, anyone who knew us tells me I made a huge mistake when I left you for a dream that was just a promise of vanished hopes.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dear You

_Everybody knows_   
_that I was such a fool_   
_to ever let go of you_   
_but, baby, I was wrong_

I don't know why I am writing this. Maybe it's just me feeling guilty, or maybe it's the fact that nothing inspires me anymore. I know it's been an awful lot of time, but I just had to write, to explain.

To make you understand, and perhaps to win your heart back.

I need you.

That's the bare truth, and one that's been really painful to admit. It's been how long? Almost a year. Plenty of time for you to start all over again, with another love to fill your heart, other arms to hold you at night, other lips to kiss your fears goodbye. Wherever I go, anyone who knew us tells me I made a huge mistake when I left you for a dream that was just a promise of vanished hopes.

_And, yeah, I know I said_   
_we'd be better off alone,_   
_it was time that we moved on,_   
_I know I broke your heart_

I've wandered for so long without a light to guide me, until I realized that what I needed was you. I know it was my fault, I know I shouldn't have said a thing, I know I hurt you. And I am really, really sorry that I had, in fact, said those horrible words that broke your heart, that shattered it into millions of small pieces.

I was hurting too. It's too late to admit this, now that I can see you walking with him, smiling with him, living your life with him like I never existed. Maybe I never existed and this is all a nightmare that I can't wake up from, a nightmare that's slowly burning a hole in my soul, a soul that's dying without you.

I'm not sure if I'd have enough courage to send you this letter, to stand up and walk the few stones separating your new house from the one I've rented, from the one that serves me to follow your life from the outside where I belong.

Maybe I need to suffer before I can get you back.

_Here I am_   
_banging at your front door,_   
_my pride's spilled on the floor,_   
_my hands and knees are bruised_

Going solo was just a dream, a mistake. We were a perfect tandem and I let go of you. I wonder what I could do to have you back, what does he have that I don't? Why has he earned the right to touch you?

I can answer my own questions. He hasn't left you for the big lights, the big city, the strangers and the blinding promises. He has stood by you when I couldn't. I thought he was my best friend, and maybe it was the only thing I got right. He took care of what I loved even though I was sure I didn't love you anymore.

I'm going to stand at your front door, try to slip this letter under the wood and see what happens. I'm going to stay here, in your garden, when you open the door to see who has written this. You'll know, of course, but you just won't want to believe I'm back, because I swore I wouldn't.

I lied.

Please come back to me. Please accept me. Please, please, still love me like I love you.

Please love me back.

Please.


	2. Dear You

_If you could see these tears I'm crying,  
touch these hands that can't stop shaking,  
hear my heart that's barely beating_

"There's mail, Zac!" Jared shouted from the door, on his way to the kitchen. "And there's one with your name on it!"

Zac Hanson shook his head and remained on the couch, watching a television that was silently showing black and white images. It had been like that for months, Jared taking care of everything while he just sat on a couch crying his heart out.

"Zachary!" Jared shouted again. "Move your ass out of that couch and get the mail if you don't want me bitching!"

Zac stood up and approached the door. There were the envelopes, on a small table under a mirror. He quickly dismissed the bills and a blue envelope called his attention. His name was handwritten, no address, no sender. Frowning, he tore it open and the familiar handwriting brought so many memories that he felt dizzy all of a sudden.

He shuddered and lost balance, even before he got to read the letter; he had to support himself by clutching the edge of the table, but it wasn't enough and Zac fell to the floor with a loud _thump_ and the noise of shattered glass.

He had broken the mirror.

Jared came running when he heard the noise, and he blinked at the vision in front of him - Zac was sitting on the floor, surrounded by pieces of the broken mirror, streams of tears running down his cheeks.

"What happened, Zac? What?" Jared kneeled in front of him and searched carefully for injuries. "Did you cut yourself? Do you have any injury? Talk to me!"

"He..." Zac stammered, the letter still in his hands. "He is back... He wrote..."

Jared took a look at the letter, without really reading it, and sighed. He could sense trouble coming their way, just like he had sensed it for months, from the moment Zac had knocked on his door telling him his world had ended.

"Okay, Zac. First you have to read the letter, but you can't do it spread on the floor. So stand up, I'll help you get to your couch, and I'll make some tea. C'mon."

They both stood up, Zac supporting himself on Jared's shoulders. They went to the living room, and Zac sat down on the couch he had just vacated.

"I'll be in the kitchen, with the tea. You just read the letter, I'll be back in a second."

Zac was left to himself on the couch, reading the words over and over again, taking them in like a long needed breath. When Jared came back to him, he was crying again.

"Here you are," said Jared, offering the cup of tea. "Is it that bad?"

"No," Zac hiccupped. "He... still loves me, Jared."

"Where's the man?"

"He says he's outside... waiting... in our garden..."

"So why aren't you running to him? You've been dreaming with this moment for almost a year!"

"He thinks we're together, you and me."

Jared looked at him agape, his own cup halfway to the table. "He thinks what? Man, I knew he was crazy, but this!" Jared just couldn't stop his babbling, completely amazed. "He thinks I'm gay? But he knows me! He's my best friend, he knows I've been in love with your sister for years!"

"I guess he's just thought that we're living together in your house... Jared, what am I going to do?"

"Get up, Zachary," Jared commanded. "Now walk to the door and into the garden. Don't look at me like that! Go ahead and tell him you still love him, even if he left you to start a music career in LA. Go, now!"

"But..."

"No buts, just go!"

Zac gave a last look to his friend, who had shared his pain the last months, and he stood up, determined to find his lover.

Outside it was dark, and he had to wait until his eyes adjusted to the lack of light. Once he could see, he smiled.

"Taylor."

"You've... come."

"Did you think I wouldn't?"

"I left."

"And I stayed here. Is it important now that you're back?" Zac was amazed at his own strength.

"Do you find it important?"

Zac thought about it for a moment. He had been left to a future of broken promises by the same man that now asked for his forgiveness. It only took him a couple of seconds.

"I love you. I still love you. I think I will always love you."


End file.
